Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Please don't give away my fajitas
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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