My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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