Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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