uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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