yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
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I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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