We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize