so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
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the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
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You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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