he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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