does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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