Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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