The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize