Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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