I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
She announced her abortion via fbk
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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