it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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