I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize