i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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