u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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