I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Success! We fucked roommates!
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