she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If I die, sorry about rent.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize