I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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