Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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