i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
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