Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
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considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
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I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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