Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
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Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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