im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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