I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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