I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
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She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
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WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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