it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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