from now on my penis is your penis
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize