note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize