I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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