I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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