My hair reeks of homosexuality.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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