Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
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I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
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The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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