You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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