I love black thongs
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my sisters under your porch take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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