32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
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I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
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It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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