i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize