honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
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You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
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Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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