when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize