when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize