Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I think I sprained my soul last night
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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