I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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