I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
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Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
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So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i need some magic done to my vagina
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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