The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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