Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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