Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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