I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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