I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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