She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize